Dear Diary...

When I started writing on here, it was with the intention that it would be about beauty and fashion and makeup; what gives me joy in life.

But since I started posting, it became more of an emotional outlet. A place where I could write out all of my thoughts, opinions and feelings without a fear of being judged. A place where I could speak freely about my anxiety, depression and general teen issues right here in my own little corner of the internet.

Don't get me wrong, I still love makeup and beauty and fashion and intend on pursuing a career in that, but I want this blog to be something more than vanity.

A place for both myself, and anyone reading this to realize they aren't alone. To face our fears and insecurities together. Whether that's with just one of you or even with hundreds...perhaps even thousands...o.o that's a scary thought...

Anywayyy, I am going to make a few changes on here before its too late, starting with the name. although I'm undecided of what exactly I will change it to, 'Sarah's Beauty Babble' just doesn't seem to fit anymore.

And this is the luxury of having no one read this blog (yet ;)...), I can end it abruptly because I've run out of things to say XD

Please if you are reading this, leave me a comment, I could use some support and motivation on here!

xoxoSarah

Feeling Alone

Do you ever feel alone? Like you're surrounded by so many people yet it feels as if no one understands you? Because that's basically how I've felt my entire life.

I like being alone and the general silence and serenity captured by my bedroom walls helps me find happiness in this big world, but I have always longed to find someone who is just like me. Someone who can be loud and spontaneous yet introverted and insecure. Someone who shared my thoughts and opinions on the world.

Don't get me wrong, I know that I will never find my exact replica, but I can't help but hope that I will at east find someone who can understand why I think the things I do.

I have friends, and I have the internet, and I have a life, but its not the one I want to live. I feel trapped here.

 I never liked my hometown. It's a place that no one leaves. Where people grow old and eventually fade away, and if I know that the place that I need to be isn't in this dot-on-the-map town then why am I here?

 I cant wait to be the person that finally leaves and follows her dreams and does what she wants to do and finds that person that makes her feel...complete.

But for now I suppose I will just have to keep painting that smile on my face everyday until I can get out of this deadbeat town.

Keep your chin up,

xoxo Sarah

Update!

Hello everyone! Sorry I've been away for so long. I have had a busy couple of months and I think it's time to have a little chat about things. Around Christmas time, I started feeling very anxious. It was too the point that I couldn't even go to school, that was the time at which I went to see the VP of my school. I had missed over a month of school. Although I was passing all my classes, my grades weren't ecmxactly where I had wanted them to be. It didn't help that I was having issues with a teacher that would often mark my wok unfairly in comparison to everyone else's. I became quite depressed to be quite honest, and I just could not sit down and write. I think I'm back to a place in which I am able to sit down and write a blog post. However this time it is going to be a little but more structured. I am planning to post once a week at least. That is my goal. However please understand that I am busy with school and I can only write if I have time. I've also been at the gym a lot. That is something that I'd really like to keep up with. I know I don't have many readers, but, I love writing this and it's something I am already very proud of. My next post will be a monthly favourites so stay tuned for that.

Xoxo Sarah